Show Off at the Upper Room

While some had six, some had even more, still counting, seven, eight: The number of packs visible on their naked abs. Personally, I haven’t gone any closer than this in my life before to any abdomen this superlicious that showcased those hot-stacks of hard muscles. Maybe just a little glance in the locker rooms back at the gym, but these babies were for real and for show!

I was deliberately waiting for Fa’s response on the event of last Wednesday’s Ubernacht, the 5th anniversary of Men’s Health Magazine – Indonesian version. You were right Fa! Muscle-worship-congs were like everywhere no? And cutie pies too. (Tried yelling at you but you didn’t hear). It was an equivalent of going to a church. The Church of Perfection, lead by Minister Yudha, the editor of the Indonesian version, who’s kinda cute but needs to be more “representative” (i.e use the tips in your mags and go to the nearest gym).

The event itself was kinda lame from my point of view, for a magazine this caliber to create such mundane event. tsk tsk tsk… (sigh). The spotlights specifically glared onto the wrong directions, visually blocking the stage with floods of whiteness while hurting sights. The silent pauses between acts were horrible. Indra Herlambang, the MC, was funny though. Got to give him credit for that. But the worst was the choice of music: They hired this grunge band that’d replicate 90-s rock hits, a bit too hardcore and maybe intolerable for the majority of their subscribers who are actually women and gay men, said some inner-circle informant. Especially when the theme of the day was Ubersexuality, a notch higher than what we’ve known about metrosexuality with deep-attention towards humanity-and-the-environments added to the mix.

Oh yes, one more thing. Maybe this is just a form of muscle-envy from my side, But next time, please train your coverboys better. Gym bunnies don’t necessary know how to pose for the photo sessions. Even if they are good enough, they don’t necessary know how to walk the runway. But hell, they can walk into my room at any given time. (Slap me).

Now, let’s get real. To top the event, there was the crowning of the “Be Our Cover” (BoC) Model Search 2006. Do you ever think that any of the contender –who doesn’t have anything better to do but a 24 hour gym-session to create such perfections- would actually care about humanity… about the environment? Please… Even for the so called uber-“role model”, that they actually chose were Brad Pitt and George Clooney. For metrosexual icons yes. But for ubersexual? Get another dude, guys. If I were to award the prize, it’d probably go to a Mr. Richard Gere. Still sexy yet into actively solving social problems as well. Bill Gates and Michael Dell are very generous as well. But Mike wasn’t that fashionable and Bill’s even too far from sexy. Sorry Bill! Just like any other philanthropist, to become an Uber-person it took years of hard work and fine-tuning to master this. And these young hotties on the showcase are far too young to receive such acknowledgements.

Back to the Model Search award, I always voted for the nice-caring- understanding-puppy face look as you may see above, as seen on Sigit and Amrin. But the reader’s choice award went to Felix, who was hot, active, and has the naughty-boy-I’m-all-that look. He also does inline street hockey (at least he did on the stage). And if, just wait, if he speaks with an American accent, he’d be the perfect ABC for me. Thank God he lost the BOC award to Ghaniy, another puppy face whose picture here just didn’t do him justice. In real life he’s much much, I say, much cuter with a killer smile that would melt anyone’s heart. However guys, my Abs Definition Award would probably still go to Felix though. Maybe Ghaniy won a mile by brain and personality. At least I hope so.

Ah, so many men. I even met people that I’ve been wanting to meet and greet from a long time ago by Friendster. Not surprisingly, the friendster photos might fool some of us: Ya oloh, itu si Mr. A dan Mr B. gahar-gahar di FS kok ternyata ngondek yah? Found an acquaintance without his bf (and hid who he was with). Found two former false hopes of my friends. Found a former client who’s all so yummy by now. And who is that guy in the orange polo who was supposed to represent My Body or Celebrity? Yes. Hotties were abundantly everywhere.

“Your eyes are free to roam tonite. You may look but you may not touch”, noted hunny beside me.

Aww. Shucks. I was just about to say hello to the percussionist with some extra large biceps and a very broad shoulder. Maybe he... should be your cover instead!