Embarrassing Interview with a One-Night Stand

I thought it would be fun to have sex with someone and then interviewed the guy and talk about everything you’re not supposed to talk about. I looked around a bit on the Internet but finally picked up this guy in a bar – someone who wasn’t intent on finishing it all off in a back room and who fancied a conversation afterwards. We went back to my place and…

Hold on, don’t put your pants on yet. I thought we had a deal – the interview I told you about, the after-sex interrogation.
Oh shit, really? I thought that was a joke. I tought you were teasing me, steering clear from the usual boring “wanna drink?” chat up. I though that was so sweet about you.

Thanks, but, no. I really want to do the interview. Did you like the sex we just had?
Yeah, it was fine.

Only fine?
It was okay. A little on the soft side maybe, but it was okay with me.

You prefer it rougher?
We didn’t fuck, so that makes it less rough, I’d say. I don’t have anything against vanilla sex, but the sex we just had wasn’t “all the way” if you know what I mean.

That’s weird. I wanted to fuck too but I didn’t pursue it. Why didn’t you ask me while we were at it?
I thought you didn’t want to fuck.

Why? What did I do that made you think I didn’t want to fuck?
You were very actively pleasing me all the time; you were really all over me and all over my body. So I think I was waiting for you to take the initiative. Maybe I didn’t think of it because you didn’t come across as totally focused on my ass either. You know, some guys just don’t give a damn about anything else, all they do is fixate on the anus. You weren’t like that.

I always find it hard to guess if somebody is into fucking or not.
Never mind. It was okay without fucking.

What did you like about me?
What do you mean? How you performed?

No, I mean physically?
Your ass. It’s awesome.

Thanks. Tell me more?
More about you?

No, about what you like about my ass.
It’s very round and firm. It’s a bit hairy and there are these small freckles above your cleavage. And it’s a very white ass.

I really like your toes.
And it showed! I didn’t like the part where you were licking my toes much. It felt uncomefortable. Didn’t I have smelly feet?

No. I like sucking toes. I thought you liked it too ‘cause you were moaning.
Well, it tickled… You suck cock very well. That’s the part that I liked: how you kept on working my shaft up and down without taking my cock in completely, just wetting it until you finally swallowed it. That was nice.

Your cock is funny. When it’s hard it’s really hard. I was surprised you got it up like that, given the fact that we were knackered when we got here.
I always have quite a boner, yeah.

Can I say something about your kissing?
Of course. Did you like it?

You could be a little more subtle with your tongue. You move it around too frantically. The same goes when you give head. It’s kind of a manic tongue.
You think so? I never had that complaint. Maybe I had too much space when I was blowing you. Your cock isn’t really huge.

Well, next to yours, yeah. But it isn’t small either…
Sorry. It’s not small, but just average. And you’re not circumcised. I prefer circumcised cocks. Big and circumcised.

What about my kissing?
You’re a wet kisser. You use too much spit.

Well, it worked well on your cock. And what about nipples? It’s a gay thing, isn’t it, pulling and squeezing nipples?
I don’t know.

I think you should play more with your nails. Not just pinch my nipples hard and long, but twist them softly and use your nails a bit more. And my right nipple isn’t as sensitive as my left one. Just so you know for next time.
Do you think there will be a next time?

Why not?
Well, maybe. We’ll see. Hey, but Sander, I really have to go now. Are we finished?

Not yet. Let me think… What did you think of my finger up your ass?
Oh, fine.

Fine again? It sounds you had the most average sex in years!
No, it was really fine, the finger too. And we both came at the same time, which doesn’t happen on a first date.


Text by: Sander Plug. As seen in Butt Magazine. Issue No.13: Special BAD Issue (Summer 2005). Pictures by: Lilo Raymond from art.com ("Unmade Bed"); SayImSorry from flicker.com ("Buy Butt Magazine")